My dearest Java,
How do I love thee? Thou art black and beautiful, so I love thee with Biblical words. Thou are good with half-and-half, cream, milk, sugar, honey, maple syrup, maple sugar, agave nectar, or coconut cream, so thou art good mixed. More than all of these, I love thee straight, as long as the barista is good, the roaster is good, and the beans are good. If not, thou needest a little decking out with the aforementioned accessories.
However, my dearest one, here is where I must introduce a strain into our relationship. This past week, as we gained more and more exclusivity, I realized that I need to introduce a third person into our relationship. Now, I love monogamy; I think you know this. But, in the interest of not crashing or dying, I think our relationship has to be polygamous. I need to spend more time with my old flame. She's also dark and luxurious; her name is Sleep. When I fold into her arms, nothing else matters. She's fantastic in her time, as you are fantastic in yours.
I have found that on occasion I can substitute you for her. This often comes at a price that I am willing to pay. However, it is not often the case that I can substitute her for you. This means that I do value you as an individual, and that I am not giving you up. Your soda cousins aren't quite as effective as you are, so you will always be my first love. Your energy-drink cousins are just crazy; I prefer to spend my time with you rather than them; there's no telling what they will ask me to do. I will also admit to spending time with your far-distant cousins which promise zen and harmony, but they did nothing for me. I also love your sister, tea, but she requires a much more tender preparation, so we don't hang out much.
Anyway, I just thought that I needed to define how we stand after this past week of frequent use.
Love always,
Anthony
